Why are cars dramatic? Somewhere at the world’s beginning cavemen chipped these words into stone: “Car videos need drums. And strings. And brass horns. And anthemic vocals. And repeated reminders that Nothing Will Ever Be The Same.”
Although cavemen at that time didn’t even know what “videos” or “cars” were, they were wise beyond their years. Their words would guide decades, maybe even centuries of videographers, and in the latest Jaguar creation about their six all-aluminum E-Type 1963 tributes, the principles hold true. Carmakers seem to take themselves just a little too seriously, favoring “tension” and “theater” over minor items like “plot,” “characters” or “rationality.” Thus in today’s Zero to Sixty video, we have no idea who this random man is arriving in a Jaguar F-Type R, nor why he needs such a special suit and helmet to drive a 1963 replica safely on a closed course. But we do learn quite a lot about that E-Type.
It’s one of six E-Types that were never built in 1963. For some unexplained reason, Jaguar meant to build 18 all-aluminum models, but only made it to 12. Did the workers get tired? Was there a shortage of aluminum? Did the Space Race make automobiles seem pointless? Did they take sleepy-time tea? We don’t know. Jaguar Land Rover’s new Special Operations unit did a wonderful job completing the remaining six, however.
The brushed aluminum body stretches on for ages rounding itself off in gradients that must form the platonic ideal of curves. To paraphrase Joel from Adventureland, that curve is a higher truth. The engine sounds great, and the cinematography is fantastic. Even if the whole concept is a little silly.